Breathe Into Me Read online

  When we were both vertical, he held out his hand to me. “My name’s Nate, by the way.”

  I tentatively reached out my hand to shake his, and take a good look at him. He’s extremely good looking—as are most the boys I’ve met here so far. What, did I sign up to go to Abercrombie College, and didn’t know it? Sheesh. How was it possible that every guy here looked like he just stepped right out of a GQ magazine? Perfect hair, perfect teeth, and perfect clothes. This was beginning to be just a tad bit ridiculous.

  “Kelsey.” I nodded.

  Completely mortified, I began to collect my things and throw them back into my bag. When I finally took my seat again, I buried my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment and sent up a silent prayer that this class would pass quickly.

  I slowly lowered my hands to the desk when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, and turned to find Nate standing there—with a tampon in his hand. At first I’m a little taken aback, not really understanding why he would be holding a tampon … and then I feel my heart drop to my stomach when I realize it’s the same brand I use.

  Fuck my life.

  Clearing his throat, he leaned down close to whisper in my ear, “I believe this belongs to you.”

  Really? Is this really happening right now? What is my deal today? Are the Gods out to get me and curse me as ‘the girl who would forever go around doing embarrassing shit and making a fool of herself in front of good looking men’ for the rest of my life?

  Well, it couldn’t get any worse. Might as well suck it up and get it over with. I mean, what else did I have to lose? The man was standing there holding my tampon, after all.

  “Thanks,” I said as I retrieved the tampon from his hand, dropping it into my bag. I was never going to live this down. I just knew it. “And thanks for, um, catching me,” I added.

  “Not a problem.” He smiled. He had a nice smile. I bet money it had taken years of orthodontist’s appointments to get a smile like that.

  “So, you’re not from around here are you?” he questioned. Obviously, he was trying to change the subject away from the fiasco that was my life.

  “No, I’m not. I’m actually from a town a few hours away. My best friend Jessi and I dorm over in Hager.”

  “Nice. That’s one of the nicer dorms here.” He winked.

  “So, is this your first year?” It was apparent it wasn’t if he knew which dorm buildings were better than the other … but might as well ask to keep the conversation going, right?

  “Nah, this is my third year. I don’t live in the dorms though. I’m part of the KZB fraternity, so I live in the frat house.”

  Fraternity boy, huh? To me, fraternity boys always signified drunken, ass-grabbing, Neanderthals. Nate, however, didn’t look that part by any means. He looked more along the lines of a trust fund baby who probably drove a Lexus or BMW. Definitely not as though he would be doing keg stands every other night in what was, quite possibly, a filthy house surrounded by a crowd of fellow drunken Neanderthals cheering and fist pumping him on every step of the way.

  “I’m sorry, but you don’t really strike me as the fraternity type,” I admitted.

  “Really now? Why is that?” He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled.

  He smiled, that’s good. Smiling is good. It means I didn’t offend him. I should really walk around with a warning that says, ‘Hi, my name is Kelsey. Let me go ahead and insert my foot in my mouth before our conversation has even begun.’

  “I don’t know, really. When I think frats I think National Lampoon's Animal House.” I shrugged.

  He surprised me by barking out a laugh and grabbing his stomach. “Oh man, that’s a good one. I could get offended but I am enjoying the fact that you have actually seen Animal House too much for that. Actually, my frat is nothing like that. We are more along the lines of, ‘join the frat because your father was in it.’ It also helps you gain great connections to further your schooling and career. Like in my case, one of my brother’s fathers has the ‘in’ for a med school I plan to attend. Every little connection helps, right?”

  That did make sense. I’d also seen the movie The Skulls, so I guess I could understand that all frats were not full of raging horny guys, hell bent on seeing how many beer cans they could crush against their skull before passing out.

  “So you said you’re not from around here right? I saw you walk in with Kane Riley. You know him before enrolling here or something?”

  While I didn’t see how my knowing Kane had anything to do with him, I figured there was no point in questioning it.

  “No I didn’t know him before starting here. We just met the other night actually.”

  “That’s cool. Kane and I are friends. We actually rushed together, but he dropped us last year. He still comes to some of the parties every now and then, though.”

  If picturing Nate in a frat was hard, picturing Kane in one—especially the one that Nate had described—was almost down right impossible. Kane and Nate, appearance-wise, were polar opposites. Kane with his tattoos, piercing, biker boots and—from what I had seen so far—monotone wardrobe, didn’t fit the whole frat-for-connections type. Nate, on the other hand, in his baby blue polo, tan slacks and Sperry Top-Siders, I could see.

  Jessi decided to come rushing into class at that time. I could tell from the blush on her face and swollen ‘I’ve been making out … hard’ lips, that she had been putting off coming into class until the very last minute to spend as much time with Landon as possible. She came bouncing up to me with a massive grin on her face.

  “So, where’s my seat, chick? Did I miss anything?” She pulled a small mirror and tube of lip-gloss from her purse, and began touching up her makeup. Yep, she really needed it too, a smearing of pink gloss covered the areas around her lips from her extra-curricular sucking face activates.

  When she was finally done putting herself back in order, she glanced up at me, and then Nate. “Well hello there,” she purred at him.

  Yes, Nate was good looking, any girl in her right mind would agree … so Jessi’s flirting was to be expected.

  “Nate.” He nodded and reached out his hand to shake hers like he had done for me.

  “This is my friend, Jessi I was just telling you about.” I went ahead and introduced her.

  “Just telling him about, huh? So you have been talking about me?” Jess bumped her hip with mine.

  “Yes, Jessi. He now knows your date of birth, social security number, and first pet’s name.”—I paused—“I was just telling him how I came to school here with my best friend.”

  “Oh, I see. Well, I hope that you also told him that your best friend was super hot and had a winning personality.” She smiled

  We all took our seats when the teacher finally came in to class and called our attention to the front of the room. Less than a minute later, I felt Jessi lean over toward my desk.

  “We have been here a few days, Kels … a few days, and you already have all the boys falling over you. Damn girl, didn’t I tell you.”

  I rolled my eyes. She was crazy. So I had made a few new friends and they just so happened to be male. That didn’t mean anyone was falling over me.

  “Hush, and get back in your seat before you get us in trouble on our first day of class,” I hissed back at her while never taking my eyes off the front of the room.

  She held up both hands as she leaned back into her seat. “I’m just saying, Kels. These boys want them some Kelsey. Bad.”

  I rolled my eyes again. Sure they did. Even if that were true, once any guy really got to know all about me and my past, things would eventually change. You can’t carry around baggage like I have and there not be repercussions for it. I wasn’t like your average eighteen year old. I had seen things that had changed me, broke me. It would take a special kind of man to love a person as broken as me. But even if I found that man, I wasn’t so sure my damaged heart could give him that love in return.

  When class was over, I shut down my laptop and placed
it in my bag. Overall, the class had been just as Kane described. Her syllabus and standards were pretty high, so I was praying he was right about it getting easier after a few classes. I really wanted to take her class, but I was already feeling a little overwhelmed.

  As Jess and I headed out the door, I felt someone fall into step with me and turned to find Nate.

  “Well what did you think about the class? She seems like she’s going to be pretty tough, huh?” He playfully bumped my shoulder and smiled.

  “Well I happen to have the inside scoop on her, and I believe we can handle anything she throws at us,” I said to him.

  “Well, if you have the inside scoop, it looks like we’ll be spending a lot of time together in there then. We may need to partner up on a few projects,” he joked back.

  As we exited the class, we ran into Landon who quickly whisked Jessi away while she giggled a farewell to me, and something about catching up with me later. I shook my head and laughed at the two. You would never have known they just met a few days ago from the way they were with each other.

  When I looked away from Jessi and Landon’s retreating figures, I saw Kane. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his broad chest. His arms completely fascinated me, thanks to the intricate designs of the tats adorning them. I couldn’t believe I’d never really noticed tattoos before Kane. Each one was like its own miniature work of art. Kind of like when you see people go to art shows and stand there and stare for long periods of time on one particular painting. I could do that with Kane’s tattoos. I wanted to know all about them. I wanted to know if each one held a secret story behind it, or represented something special in his life. And if I was being completely honest with myself, I just wanted to know Kane. All about him, every detail.

  When we finally locked eyes, Kane pushed off the wall and strode toward Nate and me. His eyes kept shifting back and forth between the two of us, before finally settling on me as he finished his short walk.

  “Hey” —He scratched at the back of his neck—“I thought I’d see if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee or something. If this is your last class, I mean.” He cast his eyes back toward Nate, who was currently glaring at Kane. Man, boys could be so weird sometimes.

  Clearing my throat to get Kane’s attention again, I said, “Um, sure. That sounds great. I just need to run back to the dorm and drop my things off. I should also tell Jessi where I’ll be. You want to meet me on the front steps in fifteen minutes or so?”

  A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, eliciting a smile from me too. “Sure. See you in fifteen.”

  Once again being caught up in Kane, I forgot about Nate standing right beside me. Man, I’ve got to stop doing that. Not really knowing what else to do, I blurted, “Oh! This is Nate, by the way.” Then I paused, remembering my earlier conversation with Nate. “But wait, I guess you already know each other, don’t you?” I glanced back and forth between the two of them.

  “Yeah, we know each other,” Kane stated flatly as he glared at Nate.

  Weird. I’d just figured they were friends. Looking at Kane and the way he was staring at Nate, I was quickly retracting that thought.

  “Long time no see, bud. How’s it going?” Nate nodded toward Kane. Acting as if Kane wasn’t scowling at him as he spoke.

  Kane’s eyes looked Nate up and down, almost as if he were sizing him up. Kane had a good two to four inches on Nate and was definitely more built. If they were to ever go toe to toe, my money would definitely be on Kane.

  “Good,” he clipped out before turning back to me. “Go put your things away. I’ll be waiting out front.”

  He turned and headed back down the hall, toward the exit doors without even a goodbye nod toward Nate.

  “Well, that went well I think,” Nate chuckled at Kane’s retreating figure.

  “Yeah, what was up with that?” I questioned. Kane obviously didn’t care too much for Nate; but Nate, on the other hand, was acting as thought Kane didn’t just blow him off.

  “I don’t really know. We used to be brothers—as in fraternity brothers. We actually were pretty close a few years ago. That’s why we rushed together. Then Kane started to change and pull away from us. We let him have the space he needed, but after a while he came to us and told us he was leaving the frat. Kind of shocked us all to be honest. He would have been president if he’d stayed.

  After he dropped the frat, he got his own apartment and kind of kept to himself after that.”—He paused—“Well, I guess kept to himself isn’t the right term.” He stopped again and looked around the now emptying hall. “How do I put this? He still has plenty of company these days, but only in the form of women. It’s not surprising to see a different girl leave his apartment every night.”

  I could see Kane being the ladies’ man type. With looks like that, I’m sure women were always throwing themselves at him but that didn’t excuse douchebaggery behavior. It was kind of weird though, he’d never given off those vibes to me. He’d never actually hit on me either. Flirted a little here and there, but never actually came on to me, I don’t think.

  Maybe he didn’t find me as attractive as the company he usually kept. Which I couldn’t lie, that stung a little bit, even though it shouldn’t. I barely knew him and never got hung up on guys anyway. I don’t know what my deal was lately. One look from a pair of gray eyes and I was completely flipped upside down. That wasn’t me. I needed to put a stop to whatever was happening, like now.

  This coffee date was going to go a whole different direction then what ‘ol Kane probably had planned out in is head—big or little one. Nope, Kelsey Rien was not the type to do the walk of shame out of someone’s apartment. This was something that I was going to make pretty damn clear.

  After a quick goodbye to Nate, I headed off toward the dorms. The sooner I was rid of this bag, the better. At least in high school you had lockers. Lugging this stuff around was going to take some getting used to.

  Not feeling like waiting on the elevator—which always seemed to take forever—I decided to take the stairs. Our dorm room was just a few doors down from the stairwell and was a whole hallways walk from the elevator bays, but ascending three flights of stairs with all my books and laptop might not have been the brightest idea on my part. With each step I took, waiting on those damn slow elevators sounded better and better.

  Finally making it to our floor, I walked the short distance to our room and turned the knob. Jess should already be back, she was probably taking a mid-afternoon nap to be honest. Waking up early and Jessi never did go well together. Slowly pushing open the door, I fully expected to see Jess lying in her bed, softly snoring away after a hard first day of class. What I did not expect was a pale, bare ass as it pumped away at my best friend.

  I yelped and slapped my hand over my eyes as I fumbled around for the doorknob. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m leaving! Carry on doing … that.” I waved the hand that wasn’t currently shielding my eyes from the horrific sight, wildly in the air before finally landing it on the doorknob and slamming it shut.

  “Good Lord,” I muttered under my breath as I slid down the wall beside our door. I could still hear Jessi’s giggles.

  Shaking my head, I pulled my headphones out of my bag, plugged them into my cell and settled in to wait. Surely she would hurry it along and finish since she knew I was waiting … I hoped she would anyway.

  After about two songs there was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes flew open to find Jessi standing there with a pretty pleased look on her face. As she should have after what I had just walked in on. Landon walked out of our room and into the hallway as I started to stand, looking just a tad bit embarrassed.

  Leave it to the guy to go get all discomforted and Jessi be the one going on as if I walked in on them playing a game of Go Fish instead of bumping uglies. I swear, sometimes I honestly think she’s part man. Poor Landon was just standing beside Jessi, with his eyes cast down toward the floor as if he was trying not to make eye contact w
ith me.

  At least he’s not just the average jerk that gets what he wants and hurries on his way … but that doesn’t mean I can’t use his discomfort to have a little fun myself, right?

  “No need to go get all shy now,” I told him. “I have seen your bare ass and all.”

  He scratched at the back of his neck and let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

  “No problem. I was just coming to put my things away before heading back out,” I said to them.

  “Out? So where are you going?” Jess questioned me. I knew she was probably a little thrown off by the fact that I had plans to go out, and that those plans didn’t involve her. Usually the only places I went to lately are the places she drags me. So this was a whole different ball game for her.

  “Kane asked me if I would like to grab a cup of coffee. I told him I would. He’s probably waiting out front for me now actually. I didn’t think the room would be … occupied.” I winked at Landon because I knew he was feeling pretty uncomfortable right now, and I can’t lie, I was enjoying teasing him and watching him squirm. “So, can I get in there now? I’d like to finally get rid of these heavy books if you don’t mind.” I pushed past Jessi into the room and dropped my bag on my desk.

  Ahh, yes. Relief. It felt so good to be rid of that weighty thing—for a while at least. I rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, and had to stop myself from doing too much. I’m not worried about impressing him—or am I? Shaking the thought from my head, I finished brushing my teeth and applied a fresh swipe of deodorant. I may not be trying to impress the guy too much, but smelling good is a given, right?

  I stepped out of the bathroom and found Jessi sitting in a desk chair that she had pulled up so that it was directly in front of the bathroom door. She had one of her mischievous smiles plastered across her face.