Breathe Into Me Read online

  I could see guilt written all over his face, and it surprised me. Why would he be so worried about seeing to it that a random girl he had just met made it home safely? “It’s not a problem, really. Jess and I walked home right after. No bad guys jumped out of the shadows and snatched us up, or anything like that,” I joked to try and bring back the light-hearted mood from earlier.

  He nodded, but something told me it was just for show—but he was willing to drop the subject and I was fine with that. After a minute, I turned back toward the doors, but before I could pull one open, his voice stopped me.

  “Hey, let me at least get your lunch to make up for that night, all right?” he asked, and pulled one of the doors open so we could both enter. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting in the caf, I immediately spot Jessi. She also had some company at the table with her in the form of Landon.

  “Well, seeing as we are more than likely going to be sitting at the same table today”—I nodded in the couple’s direction—“I guess I’ll take you up on that.” I smiled at him, pulling my long hair over one of my shoulders, and watch his eyes as they glance down at my now exposed neck, but he quickly jerks them away and begins looking around the room.

  An odd feeling forms in the pit of my stomach from the way he was looking at my neck, but I write it off to being completely famished.

  We made our way around the various different foods being offered that day. As hungry as I was, everything sounded and smelled remarkably good. I finally decided on a nice, juicy, greasy, burger and fries and called out my order to the cafeteria lady. I stepped back, giving Kane room to make his order. When he didn’t proceed to tell her what he wanted, I looked over at him and see him just staring at me—mouth slightly open, just staring away.

  I started feeling a little uncomfortable and finally bark at him, “What?! Do I have something on my face—in my hair—in my teeth?! What is it?! Why are you looking at me like that?”

  He shook his head slightly, almost as though he was trying to bring himself out of a daze, and then grabbed his stomach and laughed. His laughter did nothing to help with the fear that I did in fact have some kind of gunk somewhere on my body. Immediately, one of my hands went to my hair and I started running my fingers through it, making sure to smooth it down and feel for whatever filth must have been stuck in there—the other began rubbing at my face, trying to wipe away whatever had him howling with laughter.

  When his laughter finally halted, he slowly reached over and took my hand into his. “First, there is nothing in your silky hair, on your beautiful face, or in your perfectly straight teeth.” Bringing my hand away from my head, he dropped our arms, but didn’t let go just yet. “I was simply in a state of shock from your order. And before you go and get all self-conscious, I don’t mean that in the way you are thinking. Usually when you offer to buy girls lunch, they get nervous about what they eat in front of you. So they order a green salad just because they think that will make them look skinnier or some shit, when really, all they want is that cheeseburger”—he winked at me—“So, you skipping over the bullshit is really refreshing.” He let go of my hand, and the cool air hitting it made me miss the warmth of his.

  “You ask to buy me lunch right? Well, that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Grass doesn’t really constitute as a meal, in my opinion. If I’m going to eat, then damn it I want some meat in there.” My belly growled further proving I say exactly what I mean.

  “Well then, beautiful, let’s get that food and get some seats before you go all ravenous beast on me over that burger, huh?” he laughed.

  I realized then that I love his laugh. He had one of those contagious laughs that you couldn’t help but smile when you heard it. It was so deep and full, like he always means it when he laughs about something. Means it when he laughs? Really Kelsey? What does that even mean? Being close with Kane was going to make me question my sanity. I had the most idiotic thoughts whenever he was near.

  We got our food and headed over to the table that Jessi and Landon were already seated at. The table had quite a few more people seated at it than what it had when we first came in, but there were still two empty seats saved directly across from Jess and Landon. We walked to the seats, and before I could set my tray down, Kane was pulling my chair out for me. You never see men pull chairs out for women these days and you definitely wouldn’t expect it from someone who looks like Kane. With his facial piercing and tattoos, he looks more like a person who would be jerking the chair away as you went to sit so that your ass would hit the floor.

  I gently sat down in my chair and cast quick glances in his direction as he gave the chair a little push in toward the table. I watched as he grabbed his chair and spun it around backward before straddling it, and going about separating the ginormous amount of food he had piled on his tray. When I finally pulled my eyes away from Kane, I saw Jessi staring at me with a questioning smile on her face. She ever so slightly tilted her head in Kane’s direction, and I gave her leg a swift kick under the table.

  “Ow! Shit! What the hell?” Landon let out a wail, and reached under the table to rub his leg.

  Oops. So much for kicking Jessi’s leg. I was mortally embarrassed and didn’t know how I was going to explain that one. Luckily for me, I had a kickass best friend who was fast to swoop in and cover for me.

  “I’m so sorry! That was me. I had a little cramp and went to stretch and I guess reflexes kicked in and bam! Shin kick.” She batted her eyes, and the look on his face clearly showed that he was so infatuated with what she was saying—he didn’t really care what his shin felt like anymore. “This is my friend, Kelsey, by the way.”

  Only then did he take his eyes off her and turn them toward me. I gave him a slight wave and smile that he returned and I watched his eyes shift between Kane and me for a split second before coming back to rest on me. Kane’s body went ridged beside me, and I pulled my eyes away from Landon to look at him. He was glaring at Landon, but when he caught me looking acted as if nothing had happened and continued to eat his food.

  “So, how were classes this morning, Kels? Is college everything you ever dreamed it would be?” Jess sarcastically clasped her hands together and pulled them up to her neck, fluttering her eyelashes as she did so.

  Knowing Jessi’s playful nature, I played right back, throwing both hands against my heart before sighing, “Oh you wouldn’t believe it, Jessica! There are so many new things to learn here! My goodness, I didn’t believe such a place existed!” I drawled in my best Scarlett O'Hara accent. We both laughed and I shrugged. “No seriously, classes were okay. The professors are trying to play hard asses but I think I can handle it.” I dipped my fry into some ketchup and popped it into my mouth.

  “Mine were so boring,” Jess flung her tiny body back against the chair and sighed, “If they stay this way all year I don’t know how I’m going to make it. For serious, when the first teacher was speaking, all I head was wha wha wha—you know—just like that teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon! No joke, I can’t handle a year of that and it’s only the first day!”

  Jessi had never been the studious one in our duo. Not saying Jessi wasn’t smart, she was brilliant and she always made good grades. She just lacked the drive to apply herself fully when it came to school work. At that moment I would just chalk her attitude up to first day blues and the fact that she had been up late texting Landon. I knew she would regret not getting enough sleep, but honestly, Jessi could sleep half the day away and it still wouldn’t be enough sleep for her.

  “I’m just glad we are at least in the next class together. Maybe you can keep me awake in this one.” She winked. I was really excited to have a class with her. In high school I had taken all the AP courses I could, while Jessi had taken only the classes she was required to in order to graduate.

  “Oh, by the way who is your friend here, Kels?” Caught up in the distraction of class talk, I’d totally forgotten to introduce Kane.

  “Um”—I cleared m
y throat—“This is Kane. Kane, this is my best friend, Jessi.” I waved my hand in the air back and forth between them.

  “Nice to meet you.” Kane extended his hand toward Jessi, and I watched her check out his tattoo sleeve as she shook his hand.

  “Nice tats. Kels and I were supposed to go get one together but haven’t made it there yet. Maybe you can recommend a place for us,” Jessi throws out there. We had never fully agreed on this matter. Sure we discussed getting them, but never actually said the words, ‘yeah let’s do this.’

  “His brother does all mine.” Kane nodded toward Landon.

  “I can set you all up with a consult if ya want.” Landon shrugs.

  Before I could even open my mouth to tell him no thanks, we were not fully committed to even getting the tattoos—Jessi squealed and threw her arms around his neck. As soon as she began thanking him, I knew anything I said to her right now would fall on deaf ears.

  Someone bumped my shoulder, and I turned to see Kane watching me. “What’s wrong with you? You look like someone just ran over your dog.” I’m not sure he’s even noticed how his body has gravitated toward mine. But right now, I’m so focused on him and the warmth of his body pressed against me, I can hardly think about anything else.

  “We just hadn’t really agreed on getting them yet is all.”

  Jessi and I had always thought it would be the ‘cool best friend’ thing to do, and get our first tattoos together. I wanted one but knew I had to get something I would never regret. I had bounced around tattoo ideas often, but there was one I always went back to.

  “So how is this weekend for y’all?” Landon’s question caught me by surprise and my eyes bulged.

  “This ... this weekend?” I managed to squeak out.

  “It’s perfect!” Jess exclaimed, slapping her hand down on the table and causing me to jump. “Gives chicken shit over there less time to change her mind.” She looked at me and gave me a quick wink.

  Yeah, she knew I was going to kill her for that later.

  “All right then, I’ll text him after my next class to set it all up.” Landon beamed at Jessi. That boy was completely smitten with her and I really hoped she felt the same. It wasn’t hard to see that if she didn’t, it would crush him.

  I finally glanced down at my watch and saw that I had ten minutes before my next class began. It wasn’t far from the cafeteria, but being the first day, I wanted to get there early and get a good seat. I wiped my hands on a napkin and scooted my chair back as I grabbed for my tray, but it was swiped away at the last second by Kane who was standing beside me with a big goofy grin on his face.

  “I got it for ya,” he stated and started walking off in the direction of the trashcans—not even waiting for my response.

  I grabbed my bag and looked over to see Jessi trying to hold back a laugh. “See you in a few. Save me a seat!” she called out to me.

  Shaking my head, I started making my way through the tables and people, following the ginormous tattooed man who insisted on carrying my tray for me. In the last hour, Kane had shown a side of him—that just from his outwardly appearance—I would have never known existed. Who could have guessed that someone with Kane’s appearance, would have such good manners? I guess the saying ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ was one hundred percent true. Kane was a walking, talking example of that.

  After dumping our trays, he turned around to face me. “So where is your next class?”

  “Wickham Hall,” I said as I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Reaching over, Kane slipped the strap down my arm, taking my bag and placing the strap over his shoulder instead.

  “I can do stuff on my own you know?” I glared at him and placed one hand on my hip. This doing stuff for me before asking me was going to get real old, real fast.

  “I know that. I just want to do this for you okay?” He shrugged and pushed open the door, signaling for me to head out in front of him.

  We silently made our way to class, but it wasn’t an awkward silence that you would usually you get walking side by side with a person you barely knew. Kane had this way about him that made me feel completely at ease when he was near. Jessi had been my best friend all my life, and I didn’t get the calm and comforting feelings with her like I got while I was around Kane. Which made this whole situation even crazier. I’d known this man all of five minutes. Didn’t you have to get to know someone before you were even the least bit comfortable around them?

  Finally deciding to break the silence, I asked, “So what are you majoring in?” Smooth Kelsey … real smooth. Way to pick the most obvious and boring topic ever!

  Pulling his trusty aviators from the collar of his white V-neck shirt, he slid them on before answering me, “Business. I want to open my own bar someday.”

  Wow. I was a little taken back at first. “Really? I would have never pegged you as a business major … actually now that I’m thinking about it—I don’t know what I really pegged you as.” I finished with a laugh and prayed I didn’t offend him in some way. I mean, just from his outwardly appearance, you wouldn’t even really expect him to go to college—let alone already know what he is majoring in and what he plans to do with that major. I know it was just my first day of actual classes, but the fact that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to major in was driving me crazy. All my life my one goal was just to make it to college. There wasn’t much thought beyond that point. I just knew I needed to get here and now that I was here I wasn’t sure what was next.

  Although, child services had always been in the back of my mind. Not living in the best environment growing up may have played a big part in that. I wanted children that were growing up in an environment like I had, to get help sooner. Memories of my past came rushing back and chilled me to the bone. No one should ever go through what I did. If I could keep just one child’s life from becoming what mine had been, that would give me a sense of accomplishment. The horrors of my past were not something I liked to focus on these days though. No matter how hard I wished for it, what had been done could not be undone.

  “So who is your professor?” Kane asked, pulling me from my painful trip down memory lane.

  “Um, Hanson. I hear she’s a real hard ass. I’m actually a little nervous, to be honest.” We had finally made it to the door of the class and I took a quick peek inside to see if the notorious teacher was inside. I didn’t see her, but I did see a few people already taking their seats.

  “Ah, she’s not all that hard. I’ll let you in on a little secret, but you are sworn to secrecy”—He leaned in so close to my ear that his hot breath tickled the small hairs on the side of my neck—“it’s all an act.”

  He pulled back and my eyes flew open—funny how I never even noticed they had closed in the first place. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door facing the class. “She likes to be all tough and give hard lectures the first few days making people think they are in for one hell of a hard class. Then she lets up after all the ones panic and drop her class because they think it’ll be too rough. Her class was actually one of my favorites.”

  Well, at least that calmed my nerves a little bit. I had heard some horror stories about this woman and her obscene amount of work she gave out. Now that I knew it was all a ruse—all I could think was, well played madam … well played.

  Feeling better about how this class was going to go, I held my hand out for my bag that Kane was still holding. “Thanks for walking me to class, and carrying my bag.” I mean, really, what else can I say? This is moving into first date—kiss or don’t kiss on the doorstep—territory.

  Before things could get any more awkward, Kane handed over my bag and I turned to head into class. I had made it all of two steps in before I felt a light baseball-type slap right on my ass. Whipping around, I caught sight of Kane walking backwards out of the class, holding up both hands with a smile on his face so huge both dimples were clearly visible.

  “Go get ‘em tiger. Give that class hell!” He winked befo
re turning and disappeared from the doorway.

  I could feel the biggest smile on my face as I shook my head; I might not have known him long, but he was sure growing on me. I couldn’t remember smiling this much in such a long time. There was just something about him that pulled you in and made you comfortable around him. And it was refreshing to finally meet new people and have them get to know Kelsey … not ‘that girl Kelsey with the fucked up past’.

  After deciding on a seat, I slid in and began pulling my laptop from my bag, when my ink pen fell out and rolled across the floor. I stretched as far as I could, trying to catch it before it rolled too far; but when it was almost in my reach, I started to slip from the chair.

  Oh, no. This is going to be embarrassing.

  One cheek slipped from the edge of the chair, before the rest of my body followed suit. I braced myself for the impact of my body colliding with the floor—but it never came. All I felt was two large hands sliding under me and catching me mere inches from the floor.

  And I’m so embarrassed that I don’t even want to look up at the person who was now cradling me like a small child. Only after I heard his voice did I raise my head.

  “That could have been bad,” A deep voice lightly chuckled.

  With me still in his arms, I could feel the vibrations from his chest as he laughed. It also reminded me that I was being held by a stranger … making the whole situation completely awkward. Finally turning to face him, I was met with his gorgeous eyes. They were so blue and clear, I almost questioned if they were even his real color, or if he was wearing colored contacts.

  People had always told me my eyes were beautiful and unique. While their golden honey color was not very common, I hated them. They served as a reminder of what he did to me, to us. I had contemplated colored contacts for myself from time to time, but contacts would not change the fact that I had his eyes.

  Realizing I was still in this guy’s arms, I untangled my body from his hold and hurried to stand. Who just lets some stranger hold them for an unknown amount of time like that? Oh yeah, that’s right, me! Because obviously I’m all kinds of weird like that.